Emerge - Ramble Four
Preview Video
Over the last 7 years, I have moved house 5 times. 5. Times. And now I think about it, I have moved about 30 times in my life. The longest time I have ever lived in one place was my childhood home, and after that, the longest was 5 years. Needless to say, I don’t have a lot of stuff. Part of the reason for that is I don’t need or want a lot of stuff. I like an uncluttered space, and life. The other reason is that every time I move, I’m forced to play the KEEP-DUMP game. Do I need this second large suitcase? Do I use all this Tupperware? When was the last time I wore this formal gown? Do I really like this painting? I’m never going to read this book. DUMP. In 2018, I moved into a one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, and let me tell you, there is nothing that forces you to make harsh decisions about your stuff than downsizing to 700 sq. ft. (This is huge for a one bedroom in NYC btw). I sense we feel our stuff is integral to our identity, and while there may be some truth to that, identity is not a fixed asset. It’s fluid and evolutionary, shifting approximately once a decade.
In addition to being stressful, moving is a major disruptor, an upsetting of a long-standing arrangement. Personally, I enjoy this process of de-cluttering, of making periodic decisions about what I need, what enough looks like, and what matters to me. I find it exhausting, therapeutic, but not stressful. For good or bad, the insane amount of times I’ve moved has resulted in a low level of attachment to stuff. Yes, it can be hard to let go of things that held sentimental value to me at one time in my life, but the nostalgic twinge I feel as I put a much beloved pair of boots in the goodwill bag is short lived. As I divest of things that I have no further use for, or that have lost meaning to me, I refresh my understanding of who I am becoming. Be like a tree. Stay grounded. Keep growing. And know when to let go. RUMI
During our lifetime, we accumulate stuff; relationships, belongings, assets, skills, work experiences, family members, hobbies, habits etc., but how often do we intentionally evaluate what we have, and what we still need and want. COVID was/is an enormous disruption. You might not have moved during the pandemic, (even I didn’t!) but we certainly had an extended opportunity to evaluate and take action on what we learned. I heard an interesting segment on NPR recently on the topic of 'Friendscaping'. ‘How to Rearrange Your Post-Pandemic ‘Friendscape’ - Re-entry offers an opportunity to choose which relationships we wish to resurrect and which are better left dormant.’ This is a much politer way of saying KEEP-DUMP!
Relationships came up a lot up in your Ramble Three responses. It wasn’t that you shared you were moving on from certain relationships post-COVID (or election!), but that you had a greater awareness around those relationships that sustain you during hard times and meet your deeper needs. Many of you reported that you had regular zoom gatherings with certain groups of friends and that it had brought you significantly closer. KEEP. Many of you reported that new relationships had formed, albeit through a screen. I have recently met several new friends in person for the first time. So cool.
There were distinct themes that ran through your KEEP lists:
· Physical Activity – With no gyms, Dojos, or yoga studios to be found, people started walking, and biking. Regular time for outdoor physical exercise proved critical to people’s mental and physical health
· Time around the dinner table with family
· Slowing down – days were less burdened by the rush to get to the next thing
· Spending time in the immediate neighborhood – supporting local businesses, getting to know neighbors, exploring the local streets
· Healthier eating and drinking habits – cooking more, eating everything in the fridge, managing excess especially alcohol, sugar and carbs
· Meditation in all its diverse forms – walking, seated meditation, journaling, creating sacred space in your house, boundaries around alone time, making music, crafting, yoga
· A return to nature
Similarly, your trash cans are all filled with the same stuff. And the DUMP award goes to…
Here’s my takeaway from your contributions. Much of what you are in the process of DUMPING, with the exception of things like masks and hand sanitizer, were ways of being or habits that you have long struggled with. Had COVID not forced your hand, or if it had lasted 3 months rather than 15, the struggle would have likely continued. You have broken old habits, and have had enough time to form new ones. This is the gift of a great disruptor, or of any significant transition. As painful as it is to endure at the time, we mostly come out on the other side healthier, with less clutter and with a greater understanding of who we are and what we need. It begs the question therefore; would it benefit us to periodically and intentionally initiate disruption in our own lives? Wow… that’s a big one.
Onto Ramble Four’s question. The first ramble, marking the beginning of the Emerge project, dropped on 3/28/21. The 7-day average for newly contracted COVID cases on that date was 1,972 with 30 deaths. Today, three months later, those numbers are 55 and 2. Restrictions have been completely lifted in the state where I live and there has been a 97.2% reduction in active cases. Do you feel like your re-emergence has been charting relatively with the decrease in numbers, and the elimination of restrictions? Or do you remain worried and cautious?
This month we are simply going to check in. Where are you in your personal emerge journey? There are two questions in the contributions form this month, with the second being optional. First, so that I can compare your experiences in a concrete way, I’ve composed a few statements that may reflect your current experience. Please check up to 3 that apply and add your own if you don’t see it represented. The second question asks you to share some narrative to illustrate your response.
If you are new to the EMERGE project, welcome! Just fill out the google form below by July 23rd, and I’ll share back with you what we learned from Ramble 4’s question, along with the next question for us to explore in Ramble Five.
Thanks for joining me and each other on this journey.