Transitions - New Beginnings

When I look at this picture of me, I see pure joy. Those who know me well will see the abundance of emotions behind the eyes and within the smile. On June 24th of this year, I exited an 8-year Ending and Neutral Zone and entered a New Beginning. This selfie was taken on the day I became the owner of the 1920’s cottage in the background. She is named Maple Tree Cottage after the only tree in my little yard.

In month 2 of this 4-month series featuring William Bridges’ Transition’s model, I opened with his simple statement, ‘Every beginning starts with an ending.’ 8 years ago, my ending event was the end of a long relationship. This was the catalyst for a mid-life transition, a lengthy period of uncertainty, turbulence, exploration, and deep reflection that has transformed my personal and professional life.

One of the obvious questions Bridges’ tackles in the chapter on New Beginnings is, ‘How will you know when your ending is complete and that you’ve spent long enough in the Neutral Zone?’ Is this ‘the’ real beginning, or just another phase of the neutral zone? Well, unfortunately, it’s unlikely there will be a fanfare to escort your new beginning in, or a party announcing its arrival. “Much as we long for external signs that point the way to the future, we must settle for inner signals that alert us to the proximity of new beginnings… a faint intimation of something different, a new theme in the music, a strange fragrance on the breeze.”

On September 8th, I packed up the cottage after a glorious 7 weeks of nesting, to travel back to Boston. Although I would be back to VT before long, it felt significant. I started the day with my first visit to Lisa, the massage therapist in the town. In response to the usual inquiry as to ‘why VT?’, ‘Why Wallingford’, I shared a little of my transition story. At the end of the session, she offered a poem. Considering we had met just 70 minutes previously, and considering that I was starting to source content for my New Beginnings Ramble, I was stunned and moved when she read aloud one of my favorite poems, John O’Donohue’s ‘For a New Beginning’ (see video above for me reading it while rambling and I’ve included below). Why should I be surprised though? As Bridges tells us over and over again, the cues and signals are there if we come out of our comfort zone for long enough, listen hard enough, and stay quiet for a while.

In 2014, when I was in the midst of my ending, and at the beginning of my neutral zone, I retreated for a week to the Cape for some rest and healing. On this trip, I also paid a visit to the massage therapist in the town. She told me at the beginning of the session that she was an intuit and often received strong messages when working on her clients. 8 years on, I remember her message for me verbatim:

You are a like a mustang – you will just keep running and running, and then one day, you will find a tree and then you will stop running, and rest.

Maple Tree Cottage won’t be the last tree I rest under, but she is an arrival point. She represents a New Beginning. I believe it is not a coincidence that I found her in the year that marks half-life anniversary. I have now lived more of my life in America than in England. There is a coming home quality to my New Beginning. I’ve had the fortune to travel to some of America’s most beautiful National Parks, The Grand Canyon, Yosemite, Mount Rainier, and the Redwood National Forest. These places are beyond words and no photographs do them justice. But, the rolling hills and country lanes of rural England are in my blood. I’ve found them here, in the Green Mountains , in the woods, rivers, and fields of VT. So, when people ask me why VT? I say that it reminds me of home.

Now that I am here, I am adjusting, discovering the new, and at the same time, reacquainting myself with myself! As Bridges says, “It is, after all, a new chapter of you life that is beginning, you haven’t become someone else… The person is really there again after a time of being somewhere else… Psychologically, the process of return brings us back to ourselves and involves a reintegration of our new identity with elements of our old one.” I recognize myself again, and the pieces of me of that I find most comfortable and even cherish, are more visible and easier to access.

I pinch myself daily. I walk from room to room and stand in the doorways staring. It’s mine. I feel unbelievably blessed. And, I have worked hard and intentionally during my eight-year transition to uncover what I really wanted and needed. I suffered losses and setbacks along the way, and I took risks and courageous leaps forward. I kept moving. Keep moving. You will be rewarded.

In addition to a reading, Lisa, the massage therapist here in VT, also pulled a daily wisdom card for me. It was only when she showed me the card - ‘horse’, that I made the connection with my the Mustang insight from 8 years earlier, and the significance of my singular Maple Tree. The text read, ‘First, I seek joy, and all else follows. Since your feeling of joy is your connection with your source, one you have achieved joy, you have achieved connection with your source. And under these circumstances, all that is good follows.’

Thanks for joining me on this summer Ramble. I’ll close with ‘For a New Beginning’, by John O’Donohue.

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.

 Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.